Blog

10 Ways to Destress ~ by Helen Argyrou
The average man has about 30%
more testosterone than women.
This means, a man must produce 30%
more testosterone than women daily.
When testosterone levels are operating
correctly the risk for a heart attack is
significantly reduced and in this way a man
ensures his future health and well being by
remembering to keep his manly mojo up.

One complicating factor is that after bonding
with a women, a mans testosterone drops.
This is the main reason why, men may feel the
need to pull away from the attachment, to
restore and revitalise the dip in testosterone.
Another psychobiological difference is that
mens memory capacity is smaller than women. So for a man, its good and relatively more easy to let
go of thoughts about whats been bothersome and this way they manage to keep their minds clear.
For Men:
1.Generally, take space once a week from your wife or family :
-A 2hour sport activity, or
-Physical hand involving fix it chore or
-Hang out with other men should do the trick.

2. When you are stressed at work :
-Don’t work more ! rather than adding more drain factor try to increase your space time to 3 hours or two separate checkout times

3. Learn to communicate your needs for space respectfully to women : Just staying away can often create more stress for you when you return. Learn to build in space understanding by explaining how you feel when things get tense well before crisis hits, so when crisis hits, you can top it up with a clear bit of information about why you need time out and find your freedom.

4. Hang out with the guys at least twice a month if your other check out times are activity or handiwork based. Be sure to engage with other men. Far too many men isolate themselves and find all kinds of reasoning to remain unattached from healthy and supportive relationships. Problem is they also remain unsupported.
5. Men flourish when they feel needed : -Remind yourself you are and count the ways.

6. You may need to spend about and hour, minimum 30minutes after a stressful day coming down, going into the nothing box or checking out. Find the best stress free zone to do this.

7. Drinking is a tricky de-stressor because although it alleviates tension while numbing you out. Try to keep drinking a social plus rather than a self medicating minus factor.

8. New situations, women or activities produce dopamine, an addictive chemical that distracts us from stress. Withstand using this approach regularly, for breaking the habit is like kicking cocaine.

For women :

1. Give your man some time to be alone after you have bonded.

2. Find respectful ways to communicate what you need when shortly after this break. -Don’t be surprised if he is clear of residues after a fight or disagreement

3. Try not to collect resentment about any of the above.

4. Find authentic and meaningful ways to feel into your appreciation of your man.

5. Since your man, needs to feel needed, respected and appreciated, remind him of his value in your life regularly .

This and more relationship expertise on the Art of Love Online Course

Based on the new video of Dr John Gray :
How Men and Women can be so Different and Still Create Fireworks and Magic



pexels-ricardo-garcia-682501
Luminary Leadership by Paradigm Shifters ~ by Helen Argyrou
Published by Luminary Learning Solutions
pexels-the-lazy-artist-gallery-1313462

The grief caused daily by the ever changing situation of COVID 19 and post pandemic ramifications is a real thing each leader, each person is now reckoning with. Acknowledging the sadness of all that has been 'lost' helps us say goodbye to our past selves and create 'space' for the new emerging leader within. For this - the biggest change our lifetime will ever see – we must teeter on the sword edge of what every change is pregnant with, tragedy and transformation at once
Ken Wilber calls this sword-edge the 'edge of evolution', others ‘the edge’ human society must cross for greater conscious civilization to occur. So bringers of change can only do so if they are able to cross this edge and willing to shift paradigms. Crossing this edge like warriors of the polarity between tragedy and transformation they learn to jump death to life....
Gone is the past paradigm, all its 'glory' and 'failings'. In comes the new way. For a while though, we lay suspended in the place in between. Will we birth a more conscious leadership or something better? Some say that a vision is born from the 'void'. From all this loss and limbo, this big transition, those who dive deep into the nothingness – who die a good death the warrior would say, who seep into this unknown place between- can truly see a better future.
How does a leader navigate the limbo into a new world of business? Handling the uncertainty for one is obvious but what it can provoke is very challenging for most leader. This loss of power, the loss of knowing includes some unnerving qualities that leaders are asked now to procure quickly. Those who do and can are those who learn to transmute the dark into light, the fall into flight in the following ways :
Humility
Resilient leadership requires us to withstand change. Change we know is so tough because it send us into the unknown where we are forced to discover we simply don’t know the answer. Now, the loss of this kind of power – for a leader to not know - is a kind of humility and vulnerability that cages the ego and strips it bare. Naked and cold the ego must hang suspended from some sky-high tripwire with risk to fall into even more unknown. With such vulnerability, humility is finally alive. ​
Existential Crisis
With humility comes acceptance. Uncertainty, doubt and dis-regulation produce the greatest fears of every human. As we wait for this dust to settle we are in what can be nothing other than an existential crisis. Our mortality is being debated on every corner of the globe, our morality and resilient leadership requires the poise of a samurai and the heart of the shaman. Both know the art of reinvention and awaken the state of deep courage to face the music, but with silent reserve that rests in the deep knowing that both life and death are present and accepted.
Permission to Fail


Perfection and portraying the image of success lurks behind every boardroom whiteboard and now every computer. What doesn’t exist can only never appear, so perfection is simply delusional. Finally leaders can – and must - accept that some kind of ‘failure’ is on the brink if it is perfection they seek. With permission to fail, the tightrope balance between hardcore polarities of the past and the future new world realities of remote working, disrupted HR practices and uncertainty can be navigated. Without it, we simply delude ourselves into thinking once again there is some optimal answer that simply doesn’t exist. Another trap of the ego that thinks it knows it all and tries to convince others. Rather, fail and begin again, invent

EQ, Listening and Facilitation
Listening for the voices of reason inside the darkness can bring common sense to any problem. Though, in the darkness most minds fill with doubt, fear and grief, especially when these are unacknowledged and unprocessed these minds cannot reason. Arnold Mindell, father of conflict resolution theory and deep democracy points the way to active listening as a powerful process that reveals the wisdom of the group. Mixed in with a little situational leadership, leaders cant go wrong as they listen to their staff, use their humanity, understand their deep struggles and then together with a newly found level of neuro-agility they facilitate and mirror the wisdom of their group. Mixed in with a little situational leadership, leaders cant go wrong as they listen to their staff, use their humanity, understand their deep struggles and then together with a newly found level of neuro-agility they facilitate and mirror the wisdom of their group. Mixed in with a little situational leadership, leaders cant go wrong as they listen to their staff, use their humanity, understand their deep struggles and then together with a newly found level of neuro-agility they facilitate and mirror the wisdom of their group.
Global Alliances
No one lives in a vacuum and no more than ever we are realizing the power of community thinking. As our world order has descended into remote working our social skills lose their luster as we dehumanize our workforces. Luckily the upswing of EQ and current emotional tone of health and safety wellbeing awareness paradoxically highlights our human quality and its importance in not only our survival but also slowly broadens and deepens our connection with others. In business this can promote greater alliances, open collaboration into what arguably is most needed now, cross planet alliances that solve world problems in and with our businesses.
Growth Mindset

From all the research, growth mindset agility is best suited to times of change. Any person learns from challenges they face. Having the attitude to do so breeds flexibility. Believing in oneself and building helpful and powerfully encouraging networks reinforces positivity needed to face strife. Then there is the power of matching up ones actions clearly with the goals, which now need to be carefully shrink wrapped to reign in goal obsessive addictions, since pushing and progress is what got us into this mess. We need more realism, more integration with environmental factors and more conscious awareness of how our goals fit into the bigger plan. Add to this the most important step to a growth mindset, self-regulation. Mastery over uncertainty, doubt, lost hope along with the 5 emotions psychologists explain is fundamental to learn to process, and we’re set. Then the paradigms shift organically.
Experimentation
You know when you were young and your mom freaked out when you drew on the walls? Well two things: that’s how you learned not to and if you didn’t you would not have discovered what a great or not so great artist you were. Also we’ve been drawing on a few walls recently and mother earth is now telling us not to but more to the point, children need to make a mess to figure out ways to fix it. Eating play dough and sandpit tactics are what got us to problem solve as adults. This is fundamental learning currency and it mimics the macrocosmic chaos to order flow of things. Moreover, no one knows the answer right now, so experimentation is the only way to find out possible practices in such a dynamic work environment. (Quick reminder to self, allow kids to mess up more!)
Imagination
Einstein once said that to invent something all you need is a pile of junk and a little imagination. A pile of junk we have but imagination we need to encourage in the hopes of realizing that we are the creators of our future. So innovation is key. We shape our own destiny. Obviously we face now the result of the ‘destiny’ of the previous generation, often unconscious business practices at the price of planetary and human resource. Yet and still, with imagination we can even invent a little sprinkle of consciousness and integrity to enter our leadership ethos and fix itself more securely if we are to prevent another forced paradigm shift on our hands.
Light
This gap, abyss, void or whatever we call the space between that and that is hard for all people. Nothingness is a place of everything-ness and nothingness at the same time. Sometimes it organically conjures up ideas of problems, endless loneliness and abandonment due to what Parkinson discovered in space and what is now called Parkinson’s Law. The phenomenon that in empty space that space is soon filled with negatively charged atoms. This law explains the frequency and almost inextricably easy maneuver in times of nothingness, gaps, void and the like to attract pull in or gravitate towards negatively charged thoughts, feelings or any kind of pessimism. These stop the art of invention and simply need to be regulated. The challenge is to hold attention here in this darkness and stay neutral. In that still point of the mind light appears from which something from this nothing begins to unfold. This is the discipline of a bespoke leadership intelligence, LQ.
This then is what LQ really stands for. The capacity to stand in the
dark and see the light first. A leadership intelligence far superior to
any model formula or framework of leadership out there. Once we each
cultivate from our own access point within, which handles the loss
the grief, of power knowing or whatever, only then can we be activated
by the gap, abyss, void or whatever we call it. The shock of possible
death there supersedes any other force when it comes to
jerk us back into life. The ‘chi’ or life force becomes one to reckon
with, as it itself reckons with death itself and all that is unknown.
When a leader can embrace this, then this valley of darkness is the
pathway to finding the light for the new dawn. Dying a good death,
s/he can do the work of bringing ‘light’ to the world. The s/he can truly lead.
Like an urban shaman s/he has met with the broken and pulled pieces together. With the courage and poise of a samurais, holding two swords the equanimity to ‘un’fight the fight develops. Spun into Paradigm Shifters their bridging ideas and powerful integration of all worldly dimensions become the field of resonance for this fierce life force within to light the way for those behind them! This is the leadership that is being asked of us and the reason why down is the new up!
#paradigmshifters
pexels-francesca-zama-5373738
Born To Wake Up The World ~ by Helen Argyrou
Published by powerhouseglobalmag

The greatest crisis and opportunity of our lifetime has presented itself and the question to ask is, are we ready?
We at YinAlithea WOMEN OF TRUTH are, mainly because we have realised two things. There is simply no other choice and many global female leaders feel they were born for this time. Born to Wake up the World. Global dialogues began during COVID-19 lockdown hitting crescendos of community thinking and unity consciousness unseen before. Clearly some incredible women are ready to lead in these epic times.
Continuing in the old paradigms, born out of industrial revolution age thinking, or following on mythical ideas embedded in the fabric of our societies that delude and deceive us, is simply not that attractive any more, to anyone. Change has begun and following through with it, these ‘Paradigm Shifters’, find that completing their ‘soul contract’ of reaching into their higher destinies, - what they promised themselves they would pursue before they were born - is how they can finally fulfill the calling that tells them they are meant for more.
The powerful surge of individuality, personal insight and self development work that swept our planet for the last generation has certainly shifted the paradigm already. All people are growing more self aware and conscious all round and leadership is advancing. Humanitarian work, the Sdg focus, social endeavours, scientific innovation advancing healthcare and the boom of solo entrepreneurship show that our precious earth is already busy with her little, or large makeover. Dig a little deeper and you will find that the marriage between body and mind, science and spirituality has evidence based research slowly convincing us that mind effects matter and we can ultimately create a new reality.
We are ready enough, it seems and where we are not, These female thought leaders will guide us to discerningly ‘ignore’ and refocus our future vision of what we wish to create. So instead of having our minds sucked into the vortex of concern, fear and negativity about the future, we learn from them to practice the ‘higher law’. A law of self discipline, that stops us from indulging in the anxiety of uncertainty, and teaches us rather to tap into a head with heart intelligence/ coherence and focus on what we wish to create. These ‘Paradigm Shifters’ are our midwives, they are helping us create our new world.
They show us how to create a onepointedness on our higher aspirations, how to increase our skills and invent an ability to mature and navigate change. To activate the higher frequencies of a growth mindset far away from our comfort zones and even expand that into the source origin of all of life. One where we can finally integrate the dance between the complimentary opposites of order and chaos, so that the ultimate swing of the pendulum can find its dead centre and a new future reality can awaken. The Women of Truth on Marketing new style summit 20-27 September interviews Female Thought Leaders on how ‘truth’ effects their business. They then teach growth strategies influenced by authenticity, teach you to walk more of the talk, increase your integrity as the masks slip off your face, and reveal your vulnerability in social media in Reflecting on how the future of a business is evolving and deeply influenced now by FQ - Feminine intelligence, the summit reveals how important it is to get into a new reality with more transparency ethics and common values between client and coach.
Learning from this feminine wisdom can help us all as we begin to get guided by these midwives of our new world, who help us accept adversity as the mother of invention and crisis, the best catalyst for change.
pexels-francesca-zama-5373738